As I came around the corner, I saw the stunned look on Andy’s

Losing My Husband at 24

Andy and I first met after literally running into each other at a White House reception honoring the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community in June of 2012. I was fortunate enough to have been invited after coming out publicly as a transgender woman while serving as student body president at American University just a month before. Andrew, 26 at the time, had come out as a transgender man several years prior and was now a leading LGBT health policy advocate in Washington, DC.

I hadn’t given our clumsy «meeting» at the White House much thought until I received a charming and suave Facebook message from that handsome guy two months later. His friends now tell me that he Canada Goose online spent hours writing and re writing the short message, in which he asked me out for coffee or drinks. canada goose outlet After several Canada Goose Outlet online conversations and a few more chance encounters while I interned at the White House, we finally managed to find some time to go out for dinner.

We quickly found that we had far more in common than our transgender history, no doubt an important component of our identities, but still only one part. We both had a passion for law and politics, a love of «trash television» as he would call it, a desire to travel, and incessant need to be right. We both got involved in politics after an intense interest in film. We both loved Star Wars, although his love dwarfed anything I could muster. And we both had an obnoxious affinity for baby talk and nicknames, he was the «big bean,» to my «little bean.» I still maintain that I certainly had the better deal: he was generous, loving, smart, funny, and enjoyed just the perfect mix of hard work and play. Many of the traits I’d find common in people from his beloved home state of Wisconsin.

canadian goose jacket In no time we were attached at the hip. Just a few weeks into our relationship he accompanied my family and me on a trip to Barbados. I quickly became part canada goose deals of his family and he quickly became part of mine. In no time, he was my canada goose clearance partner and my best friend. To top it off, we even ended up becoming colleagues, when I joined him to work at the Center for American Progress. We began to talk about our future together, believing that it stretched far canada goose store beyond anything we could imagine. canadian goose jacket

Our relationship took on a whole new dimension when Andrew was diagnosed with oral cancer in his tongue in September of 2013. I thought and hoped that the succeeding few months would be the toughest that we would have to endure for some time. In October, Andy underwent a twelve hour surgery to canada goose coats on sale remove part of his tongue and reconstruct it with a graft from his arm. Just as he relearned how to talk and eat, he had to undergo an intense regimen of radiation and chemotherapy that left him in so much pain that he could barely breath without a stabbing sensation in his mouth.

And then in April, he was proclaimed «cancer free!» As frightening and as stressful as that experience was, it gave us a bond that few couples our age develop so quickly. When we received the positive results in April, we knew we were not totally out canada goose of the woods yet, but we began to start to plan for our lives ahead.

But then the world that he had rebuilt after his first diagnosis came crashing back down in July of 2014 when he developed a mild, but persistent cough and chest pain. After several tests and a short hospital stay, the news came back like a buy canada goose jacket cheap punch in the gut: Andy’s cancer had returned and had spread to the lungs.

cheap Canada Goose It was in the 24 hours after this news that Andy asked me, «If it turns out that this is incurable, would you marry me?» Of course the answer was yes. Andy had always wanted to get married, but prior to this new diagnosis, there was never any rush. He was only 28 and I was just out of college. cheap Canada Goose

Canada Goose Outlet When we got the news that the illness was «life shortening,» as doctors say, his soul was understandably crushed. At the time, we were told that with treatment, canada goose clearance sale he would probably have about a year left. Canada Goose Outlet

buy canada goose jacket The next two weeks were a blur of silence, disbelief, and crying. Lots and lots of crying. Crying about the fear of death. Crying because he wouldn’t be able to see his family and friends grow up. Crying because, as he said, «he wouldn’t be around to say ‘I love you, bean,» or ‘I’m proud of you, bean.'» buy canada goose jacket

And as the crying gave way to determination determination to both live as long as possible and as much as possible we decided to move forward with a wedding.

Andy Canada Goose Parka was scheduled to start chemotherapy in the next few weeks in order to perpetuate his life. Because we thought we were operating with a year left, we tentatively set our wedding for mid October. Both of us had always wanted a fall wedding anyway; the colors, the temperatures, and, for a DC couple, the lack of humidity were all appealing.

canada goose clearance «Two weeks? I’m not ready for this ‘A Walk To Remember’ shit.» canada goose clearance

canada goose coats on sale But on Thursday, August 14th, the third full day of Andrew’s second stay at our local hospital and two weeks before he was supposed to start treatment, one doctor threw a wrench into our plans and cold water on Andy’s hopes. canada goose coats on sale

canada goose coats «I’m saying you might not make it to treatment,» the doctor said. canada goose coats

Canada Goose sale These were the first words I heard as I walked into Andy’s hospital room after taking a shower back at our apartment. As I came around the corner, I saw the stunned look on Andy’s face. Canada Goose sale

«So you think I may only have two weeks?» Andy asked, his face as white as the Wisconsin snow he may never see again.

«Yes,» the doctor continued and then paused. There was silence. I wasn’t quite sure where he was going next. He seemed to be deep in concentration, which would make sense given the gravity of the news he had just delivered.

uk canada goose «Hold on, there is a fly. Let me kill it.» He lifted his hands up, getting ready to smack the fly to death. The silence continued, only broken by a loud clap. uk canada goose

cheap canada goose uk The body of the fly fell to the floor. The doctor paused again, said «hold on, let me pick it up,» as he slowly bent over, lifted the fly’s body, and threw it in the trash. cheap canada goose uk

canada goose uk outlet I wanted to scream at the doctor’s coldness, but I was stunned into silence by both the news and the indifference with which it was delivered. canada goose uk outlet

After 45 seconds, which naturally felt like an hour, Andy, who couldn’t bare awkwardness, finally broke the silence and said to the doctor, «nice job.»

uk canada goose outlet Eventually, the doctor continued. He instructed us that one of Andy’s lungs was failing at a rapid rate. «You need to canadian goose jacket decide whether you will want to go on a respirator. Just know, though, given your condition, if you go on a respirator, you will likely never be able to be taken off. And to put you on a respirator, you will have to be sedated, and, given your condition, you will likely never wake up.» uk canada goose outlet

Canada Goose Online Moments later, another doctor came in and apologized profusely. It seems she had over hydrated Andy after thinking his heart was racing from a lack of fluids. The doctor who had just delivered Andy’s «two weeks notice,» seemed surprised and slightly relieved that there was a potentially reversible reason for the episode. The cardiologist prescribed some medications and reduced his fluid intake. Sure enough, Andy rebounded and by that afternoon was better than he had been since being admitted to the hospital in the first place. Canada Goose Online

canada goose clearance sale As the two doctors left his room, we canada goose black friday sale were confused. Did Andy have two weeks left or was his rapid decline of this morning merely a temporary problem that was easily fixed? Unsure, Andy turned to me and said, Canada Goose Jackets «Two weeks? I’m not ready for this ‘A Walk To Remember’ shit.» He had been fighting to live, but now it seemed he was merely fighting for a year. canada goose clearance sale

Over the next few hours, neither doctor returned to our room with any more information. We asked any medical professional who entered our room for an update, from the nurses, to the palliative care team, to the www.canadagooseparka.biz/a> young hospitalist. No one could provide much clarity as to what we were looking at in that moment. The general consensus was that Andy didn’t look like someone with two weeks left. In fact, by that evening, he was stable enough that the decision was made to discharge Andy in the next few days.